If you would have told me I would meet an Elven Pirate that I wouldn’t slay for his ship or gold stash, I would have cut your tongue out and then wiped your arse with it. But low and behold I happened to meet one. I was in the guise of an old woman to avoid suspicion and this pirate had the gall to charge me. This note had my interest piqued so I decided to see where it lead.
I Stayed below deck most of the time, but occasionally I made my way on deck to watch the pirate. I took a few swipes at his coin purse with out him knowing. I ended up having to man his flame spout (As the old woman mind you) and finish off a water elemental that he seemed to not be able to kill. It took me one well aimed shot and he wasn’t even appreciative. So as the old woman I kissed him to teach him a lesson. The filthy male could only cry after that. It gave me great satisfaction.
I knew I would grow tired of the old woman disguise, so I had slain one of the male Marines an hour after I had boarded and dumped his body overboard. It seems that that might have triggered the Water Elementals creator to be angry at the ship, but it mattered not. I dressed up as the Marine and the arrogant Male paid me no attention. I took a few swipes at his coin purse and walked away with my lost payment and then some. Arrogance and his over developed ego will make him a perfect consort if I need of one.
On the fourth day we disembarked, I attempted to steal his coin one more time, but it would be going to the same well one too many times. He caught me and then noticed my disguise. I was caught but I would not let the male get the better of me, I grabbed him and placed my Sickle to his throat, I so wanted to see his blood stain the deck of the ship but I held back. He spouted some nonsense and ended up kicking him in the groin for good measure. It was then I discovered he had also received a letter.
This is where he proved to be more arrogant and annoying than useful. He would NOT shut up!! The whole trip there he jabbered on about his conquests. A dragon, a Beholder, an second Dragon… over compensation for lack of talent I would assume. Even with his blathering we found the hidden Assassin village.
After finding the house, which he took credit for, he continued to speak loudly about the Assassins Guild. Announcing it to anyone listening. I was a little surprised that he wasn’t killed by an arrow right there.
A Drow in the guise of an old woman greeted us as her grandchildren and welcomed us in. She was older than me, but the surface had kept her attention for too long. She was doing a guards work instead of a warriors position. What a waste. We were sent below the surface, into the underdark. Darkness welcomed us and I took the opportunity to show the male elf just how useless he was. With my sickle to his throat and my lips at his ear, I let him know he was a breath away from dieing quickly if the winds changed in that direction. I could smell his fear as he conceded my point. If he wet himself it would have made my century.
Another Drow female, barely older than myself, introduced herself and asked us if we wanted to be trained as Assassin’s. If we said no, we would be left alive but without our effects. We agreed and were left in a room with a single bed to get out our aggravations with each other. I used the Male to relieve my stress, and I was not disappointed. He was skilled and his stamina was enough to keep me intrigued all night.
The next day he was tired, I was not. We were taken to the training grounds. With pick pocketing dummies, sparing mats, and sparing dummies. The male chose to pickpocket a dummy and then brag, I showed him how wrong his boasting was when I lifted his bag of holding without even touching him. He then decided to spar with me. He is skilled with a sword, I will give him that, but he let his arrogance get the better of him. My Vorpal Sickle struck out as I pushed him to his knees. The dummy it hit had its head severed instantly. He chose to stop sparing after that.
Our next task was to pilfer the town of Siriosa. Twenty random people, high borne and low borne, within the day. I systematically went through the town and pilfered from everyone. But the Pirate thought it funny to rat me out as he left. I had to use my innate Drow abilities to escape. We were then accepted into the Guild, but our training would continue. The Drow female rambled on about outside lives and being indentured to the Guild.
Blah, Blah, Blah….
I know this Male elf is going to get me killed, but I might as well enjoy the ride while it lasts. Who knows, he might become useful…. maybe.
Marjolaine “The Heartless” U’urdu.